DAY 84: Loopy Loops

Loopy Bear paced at the end of the boardroom, as if he could dodge the bad news.
"They've got over 50 families in their class action already!"  Marvin read off his tablet.  "And that's before Winthrop goes on O'Reilley this afternoon. It's going to be exponential!"
"We've dropped 14 points in the last hour," Priscilla read off her tablet.  "I've got emails from Zurich, London, and Milan.  Everybody wants answers."
Rick placed a piece of paper on the table.  "At this time, I'd like to tender my resignation."
Loopy Bear gave a pleading look to Marvin.  "I only got three fingers here..."
Marvin nodded, and flipped Rick off.

"I just don't get it!  How did this happen?  And all at once?"
Dr Quinn coughed for the room's attention.  "We've tracked down the child actors who you filmed the ad campaign with, brought them back to the lab, under the pretense of pre-production on the next round of commercials."
"They think it's for a web-series," Priscilla chimed in.  "Camp Loopy Loops, we're calling it."
"So the children are isolated, while we research the symptoms they're experiencing.  And yes, they are all testing positive."
Loopy Bear sat in his chair, looking adorable and crestfallen.  "I just don't understand..."

Dr Quinn continued, "The good news is, there's no evidence that it's carcinogenic.  We've been giving the children all kinds of tests - physical, intellectual, sensory... They're at least as healthy as they've ever been.  They're just..."
"Cuter," Marvin said.
He presented pictures of the kids at mealtime.  The children in the pictures did have noticeably larger eyes, approaching the proportions of a Japanese cartoon mascot.  Their smiles were more pronounced, their cheeks more koala-shaped.  In the pictures of a half-dozen morning meal routine, each child looked as if they were having the most wonderful breakfast ever.
"So maybe it's not dangerous?  Really?"  Rick did a half-jump in the air.  "Whatever takes the worst-case scenario off the table!  If they're not dying or sick, we'll get them to love the changes, let them think it's cool!  Priscilla asked the doctor, "Is it permanent?  Can we change them back?"
"I can't see how; they're changed at a genetic level.  They've actually got an augmented helix structure!  We're rather excited, back at the lab..."

In the chairman's seat, Loopy Bear sighed heavily, and grabbed a bourbon to wash down his handfuls of cereal.  "I just wanted to share the family recipe with the world... add some deliciousness to a balanced breakfast..."
He looked to his vice presidents, and held out the bowl of cereal for sharing.  "Anybody want some?" Loopy asked to everyone in the room.  No one accepted.



inspired by Discover Magazine article, "Four-Stranded DNA Makes Human Debut"